


Special Occasion

by Tyloric



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Crack, Gen, He's retired dammit, Humor, Seriously just leave him alone, Shepard does not like parties
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-09
Updated: 2013-03-09
Packaged: 2017-12-04 17:23:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/713180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tyloric/pseuds/Tyloric
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Needing formal wear for an upcoming event, Shepard and Traynor go shopping. </p><p>This story is about what you'd expect.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Special Occasion

**Author's Note:**

> Oh, look. Another insanity round fill! Fill for [julia1's](http://masseffect.livejournal.com/1731546.html?thread=50166234#t50166234) prompt: Shepard shopping for different formal wear.
> 
> Assumes a happily-ever-after-Shepard-lives-everything-is-okay ending. Just roll with it.

"This is a monumental waste of time," Shepard complains. "And stupid."  
  
Samantha sighs. "Don't you want to look nice for the ceremony, Commander? It's in _your_ honor, after all."  
  
"First of all, I'm officially retired _Sam_ , so call me John. Second, I don't even want to go to the damned ceremony. Can't we all just be happy the Reapers are dead and just move on? I was only just released from the hospital a few days ago." Shepard pretends not to notice how all of the other shoppers track them, _him_ , with their eyes. He'd rather be doing something productive, like helping with the clean up and reconstruction of Earth, or any of the ravaged planets. Instead he was being dragged along to buy a new outfit for a goddamned party that he wanted nothing to do with.  
  
"Oh for Pete's sake," she says exasperatedly, whirling around to face him. "It's not just for you, you bloody idiot." Samantha scorned, wagging a finger in his face. "Just think of all the people who will be watching. They could all use a morale boost, don't you think? One little lousy party will not be the end of the-" Her words grind to a halt as she realizes what she's about to say.  
  
In the periphery of his vision, Shepard can see all the wide eyed people staring at them. He could practically hear them thinking _Who is that woman and how dare she yell at Commander Shepard?_ That thought alone made him want to grin.  
  
"Anyway," she finishes with a huff. "You get my point."  
  
"Stop it, mom. You're embarrassing me," he whines like a child, kicking at the ground for good measure.  
  
"You're impossible."  
  
"No, I'm Commander Shepard." He smiles brilliantly.  
  
A shirt and jacket are thrust into his face. "Try these on."  
  
Shepard rolls his eyes. "I could reprimand you for treating me this way, you know."  
  
"No you can't. You're retired. _John."_ Samantha shoots back, grinning.  
  
They both stick their tongues out at each other petulantly until Shepard disappears into a changing room. As he's slipping out of his clothes, he hears the beginning of a commotion outside. Curious, he peeks his head out to find Sam surrounded by a mob of people. Alarm bells start going off in his head until he hears what they're saying.  
  
"Are you and the Commander an item?"  
  
"Is he your husband?"  
  
"How long have you two been together?"  
  
"No, we're not-" Samantha starts.  
  
"For years!" Shepard calls out, unable to help himself. "It was love at first sight!" The wave of chatter that starts makes him smile like a loon. He takes a look at himself in the mirror, admiring Sam's taste in menswear, and steps out of the changing room.  
  
Only to have Sam punch him in the gut.  
  
"I guess I deserved that," he groans, doubling over. Normally it wouldn't have hurt so much, but he's _just_ out of the hospital, and damn does this woman have a mean uppercut.  
  
"Yes, you did. And that shirt really makes your eyes pop."  
  
"Yeah, I thought so too," he agrees between gasps.


End file.
